Relationship Insecurity: Signs & Negative Effects

Advice by: Dr. Jeffery Haas
Place: Gardnerville, Nevada

What are the Signs and Negative Effects of Insecurity on a relationship?
In a relationship, when insecurity creeps in, it brings with it some serious feelings of negativity. It starts with a breakdown in good communication between the couple.

The person who becomes insecure about his partner then starts to get feelings of:
1. Suspicion & paranoia
2. Inner turmoil as to what importance the relationship holds and where is it headed
3. Being unloved & being given less importance
4. Being personally inadequate and worthless

Suspicion and paranoia cause couples to lose trust in each other. It causes individuals to think that their partners value other things and other people more than them. Life becomes unpredictable for such people. Evidently then, an insecure person starts to control too many things and curbs the individuality of their partner. Couples start to over-react and blow small things out of proportion, which results into conflicts.

The turmoil
within an insecure individual manifests outside with outbursts of frustration, irritation and anger. Couples start quarreling and some may even get serious to the extent of being abusive. It disrupts the peace and sanctity of a relationship and corrupts it with mistrust, hostility, disrespect and hatred.

When individuals feel unloved in a relationship, they start perceiving their partners as snobbish and feel that their partners have lost value for them. The individual may feel unaccepted or even rejected. They may even feel that they have lost the most vital support from their partners in their endeavours. All this makes them helpless in even the smallest tests of life. This can lead to an emotional breakdown or may cause the insecure individual to find solace elsewhere outside the relationship.

Feeling of personal inadequacy leads to a major loss of self-confidence. Every little task in life seems like a hurdle and the climb feels steeper. Such individuals develop a defensive attitude and lose their ability to make fearless decision and choices. They develop a disinterest towards any sort of promotions or advances at work or otherwise. Some fall even deeper where they lose productivity and efficiency ultimately causing them to quit their work or academics. These losses make them shy away from facing people, make them socially awkward and give them a feeling of not being in tune with their groups. An accumulation of all this may eventually lead to an attitude of escapism or depression and the woes it carries with it.

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Tiffy said...

You really seem to have given me direction. The entire series is really helpful. Especially the last part on How to Deal with Insecurity has given me something to work on.

Beliza said...

I really liked this article and I now I completely understand what happens to me when I go through it. I've been going out with this guy for 5 months now and it seems that I've just been stressing the whole time. I don't want to lose him just because of my insecurities.

Rajsekhar said...

I read the complete series. This part is exactly what I go through because of my insecurity in my marriage. Cant thank you enough for your post. Please give me a direct email id so that I can write to you directly about my problems.

Anonymous said...

My wife has these problems. It has taken its toll on our marriage. I'm simply sick of trying to get her to understand how bad, destructive, and toxic it really is. How does one deal with this? She simply does not want to see it, even though she says she knows she has problems. It's gotten so bad that I literally don't care about all the reasons why. I already know all the reasons why. And I just don't care anymore.

Team BlogJeez said...

Not sure if you guys have read this:
Insecurity in Relationships: Solutions!

Once you have gone through it, maybe there will be some direction to discuss this further.

Anonymous said...

My daughter has an insecure boyfriend he has alienated her from us and her friends..she is not aloud to talk to another man he is even jealous of me her father we don't no what to do

Team BlogJeez said...

How old is your daughter, how old is her boyfriend? How long has this been happening?

joy said...

Insecurity is one of the aspect that a person would probably fall. They tried to be something they never used before and tries to compete among others. insecurity looses self-confidence and will make a person pathetic or shall we say paranoid but insecurities has always cure just try to love oneself and avoid comparing your life , actions and status to others. Try to visit my site . Thank you.

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