Showing posts with label what is insecurity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label what is insecurity. Show all posts
Causes of Relationship Insecurities
Advice by: Dr. Jeffery Haas
Place: Gardnerville, Nevada
Submitted on: 11th June, 2010
What are the Causes of Insecurity in a Relationship?
The root cause of insecurity emanates from the upbringing of an individual and the environment in which the individual has lived. From birth, every child is insecure – be it about his mother, about the things he wants, about the attention he gets from people… about everything! So to say that a certain individual is not insecure would be a gross lie.
The differentiating factors between people who are insecure and the people who aren’t are:
1. The manner in which they have been brought up to face situations that may cause insecurity
2. The environment in which they have grown up
3. Personal experiences
To enlist all causes would be exhaustive, but here are some:
1. Lack of love from parents
2. A distorted family environment
3. Unexpected or shocking loss of a loved one
4. Previously failed relationships
5. Issues with external appearance
6. Diminished social circle and familial ties
7. Dearth of reliable friends
8. Failures at school, work or play
9. Loss of self-confidence due to some event
10. Peer pressure
11. Previous experience of being cheated
12. Very few celebrated victories and successes from the past
These are just some of the possible causes. Beyond the cited ones here, there may be a lot of other similar reasons. But these give you an idea to analyze the reasons for your own or someone else’s insecure behaviour.
What are the Causes of Insecurity in a Relationship?
The root cause of insecurity emanates from the upbringing of an individual and the environment in which the individual has lived. From birth, every child is insecure – be it about his mother, about the things he wants, about the attention he gets from people… about everything! So to say that a certain individual is not insecure would be a gross lie.
The differentiating factors between people who are insecure and the people who aren’t are:
1. The manner in which they have been brought up to face situations that may cause insecurity
2. The environment in which they have grown up
3. Personal experiences
To enlist all causes would be exhaustive, but here are some:
1. Lack of love from parents
2. A distorted family environment
3. Unexpected or shocking loss of a loved one4. Previously failed relationships
5. Issues with external appearance
6. Diminished social circle and familial ties
7. Dearth of reliable friends
8. Failures at school, work or play
9. Loss of self-confidence due to some event
10. Peer pressure
11. Previous experience of being cheated
12. Very few celebrated victories and successes from the past
These are just some of the possible causes. Beyond the cited ones here, there may be a lot of other similar reasons. But these give you an idea to analyze the reasons for your own or someone else’s insecure behaviour.
Insecurity in Relationships - Part1: Introduction
Advice by: Dr. Jeffery Haas
Place: Gardnerville, Nevada
This article has been written with absolutely no bias towards both the insecure individual as well as the person who has an insecure partner. It is worthwhile for both to read because insecurity affects not one, but both the partners and in turn the relationship. In fact, I would like to recommend anyone in a relationship to read it because our human nature at some point does bring up this emotion of insecurity directly or indirectly.
Serious damages can be caused by insecurities in a relationship. Knowing how to tame insecurity will only build trust and a long-lasting relationship. If you have been through an insecure phase in life or you’ve had an insecure partner, you will be able to relate to this article. By the end of the article, you will know:
1. What is insecurity in a relationship
2. What are the causes of insecurity in a relationship
3. What are the signs of insecurity and its negative effects on a relationship
4. How you can deal with insecurity in a relationship
So, what is Insecurity in a Relationship?
Insecurity is a human emotion in which a person in a relationship feels certain unease, has constantly wandering thoughts about his partner and often gets gripped by anxiety and nervousness. It is characterized by a loss of trust either from one or both sides. It can cause a rift between two people and sometimes even lead to health issues. The ultimate harm that insecurity can cause is that it can lead to a break up, which carries along with it a whole set of other problems.
This article has been written with absolutely no bias towards both the insecure individual as well as the person who has an insecure partner. It is worthwhile for both to read because insecurity affects not one, but both the partners and in turn the relationship. In fact, I would like to recommend anyone in a relationship to read it because our human nature at some point does bring up this emotion of insecurity directly or indirectly.
Serious damages can be caused by insecurities in a relationship. Knowing how to tame insecurity will only build trust and a long-lasting relationship. If you have been through an insecure phase in life or you’ve had an insecure partner, you will be able to relate to this article. By the end of the article, you will know:
1. What is insecurity in a relationship
2. What are the causes of insecurity in a relationship
3. What are the signs of insecurity and its negative effects on a relationship
4. How you can deal with insecurity in a relationship
So, what is Insecurity in a Relationship?
Insecurity is a human emotion in which a person in a relationship feels certain unease, has constantly wandering thoughts about his partner and often gets gripped by anxiety and nervousness. It is characterized by a loss of trust either from one or both sides. It can cause a rift between two people and sometimes even lead to health issues. The ultimate harm that insecurity can cause is that it can lead to a break up, which carries along with it a whole set of other problems.
Relationship Insecurity: Signs & Negative Effects
Advice by: Dr. Jeffery Haas
Place: Gardnerville, Nevada
What are the Signs and Negative Effects of Insecurity on a relationship?
In a relationship, when insecurity creeps in, it brings with it some serious feelings of negativity. It starts with a breakdown in good communication between the couple.
The person who becomes insecure about his partner then starts to get feelings of:
1. Suspicion & paranoia
2. Inner turmoil as to what importance the relationship holds and where is it headed
3. Being unloved & being given less importance
4. Being personally inadequate and worthless
Suspicion and paranoia cause couples to lose trust in each other. It causes individuals to think that their partners value other things and other people more than them. Life becomes unpredictable for such people. Evidently then, an insecure person starts to control too many things and curbs the individuality of their partner. Couples start to over-react and blow small things out of proportion, which results into conflicts.
The turmoil within an insecure individual manifests outside with outbursts of frustration, irritation and anger. Couples start quarreling and some may even get serious to the extent of being abusive. It disrupts the peace and sanctity of a relationship and corrupts it with mistrust, hostility, disrespect and hatred.
When individuals feel unloved in a relationship, they start perceiving their partners as snobbish and feel that their partners have lost value for them. The individual may feel unaccepted or even rejected. They may even feel that they have lost the most vital support from their partners in their endeavours. All this makes them helpless in even the smallest tests of life. This can lead to an emotional breakdown or may cause the insecure individual to find solace elsewhere outside the relationship.
Feeling of personal inadequacy leads to a major loss of self-confidence. Every little task in life seems like a hurdle and the climb feels steeper. Such individuals develop a defensive attitude and lose their ability to make fearless decision and choices. They develop a disinterest towards any sort of promotions or advances at work or otherwise. Some fall even deeper where they lose productivity and efficiency ultimately causing them to quit their work or academics. These losses make them shy away from facing people, make them socially awkward and give them a feeling of not being in tune with their groups. An accumulation of all this may eventually lead to an attitude of escapism or depression and the woes it carries with it.
In a relationship, when insecurity creeps in, it brings with it some serious feelings of negativity. It starts with a breakdown in good communication between the couple.
The person who becomes insecure about his partner then starts to get feelings of:
1. Suspicion & paranoia
2. Inner turmoil as to what importance the relationship holds and where is it headed
3. Being unloved & being given less importance
4. Being personally inadequate and worthless
Suspicion and paranoia cause couples to lose trust in each other. It causes individuals to think that their partners value other things and other people more than them. Life becomes unpredictable for such people. Evidently then, an insecure person starts to control too many things and curbs the individuality of their partner. Couples start to over-react and blow small things out of proportion, which results into conflicts.
The turmoil within an insecure individual manifests outside with outbursts of frustration, irritation and anger. Couples start quarreling and some may even get serious to the extent of being abusive. It disrupts the peace and sanctity of a relationship and corrupts it with mistrust, hostility, disrespect and hatred.
When individuals feel unloved in a relationship, they start perceiving their partners as snobbish and feel that their partners have lost value for them. The individual may feel unaccepted or even rejected. They may even feel that they have lost the most vital support from their partners in their endeavours. All this makes them helpless in even the smallest tests of life. This can lead to an emotional breakdown or may cause the insecure individual to find solace elsewhere outside the relationship.
Feeling of personal inadequacy leads to a major loss of self-confidence. Every little task in life seems like a hurdle and the climb feels steeper. Such individuals develop a defensive attitude and lose their ability to make fearless decision and choices. They develop a disinterest towards any sort of promotions or advances at work or otherwise. Some fall even deeper where they lose productivity and efficiency ultimately causing them to quit their work or academics. These losses make them shy away from facing people, make them socially awkward and give them a feeling of not being in tune with their groups. An accumulation of all this may eventually lead to an attitude of escapism or depression and the woes it carries with it.
Insecurity in Relationships: Solutions!
Advice by: Dr. Jeffery Haas
Place: Gardnerville, Nevada
How then, can you deal with Insecurity in a Relationship?
First and foremost is to acknowledge that insecurity does exist. Next is to decide whether you do value the relationship as a couple. If you really do value the relationship for all other beautiful reasons that it offers than the ugly insecurity, then as a last step you need to make conscious efforts to deal with the insecurity.
First and foremost is to acknowledge that insecurity does exist. Next is to decide whether you do value the relationship as a couple. If you really do value the relationship for all other beautiful reasons that it offers than the ugly insecurity, then as a last step you need to make conscious efforts to deal with the insecurity.
So what exactly do you do?
1. The insecure partner needs to be comforted that the problem is being treated by both the people and not just by him.
2. The other partner needs to show patience whilst the transition occurs in the behaviour of the insecure partner.
2. The other partner needs to show patience whilst the transition occurs in the behaviour of the insecure partner.
3. Feelings of insecurity need to be brought up by both individuals without any shyness, insult, fear or over-reaction.4. There needs to be active communication on specific issues of insecurity between both bolstered by comforting each other and showing mutual respect and love.
5. Emotions of love and commitment need to be actively conveyed – through words and actions both.
6. The insecure partner needs to grow more confident himself. He should focus on his talents, strengths and appearance.
7. The insecure person should understand that exhibiting insecurity only draws sympathy to some extent and not love.
8. The insecure individual needs to learn to trust his partner and absolutely stop his mind from wandering.
9. The couple has to understand that there are no fixed rules in a relationship. Mistakes do happen, people do quarrel and with some amount of maturity, value and love, things fall back in place.
10. Arguments or conflicts pertaining to insecurity could be settled with humour to bring down its severity.
11. The secure partner should congratulate, reward and encourage the change in behaviour in every manner possible and should convey how much difference it has made in his life.
7. The insecure person should understand that exhibiting insecurity only draws sympathy to some extent and not love.
8. The insecure individual needs to learn to trust his partner and absolutely stop his mind from wandering.
9. The couple has to understand that there are no fixed rules in a relationship. Mistakes do happen, people do quarrel and with some amount of maturity, value and love, things fall back in place.
10. Arguments or conflicts pertaining to insecurity could be settled with humour to bring down its severity.
11. The secure partner should congratulate, reward and encourage the change in behaviour in every manner possible and should convey how much difference it has made in his life.
As the insecurity starts to diminish from the relationship, both people need to continue the relationship with immense love, commitment, mutual trust and mutual respect. At no point should communication breakdown. Often we assume things that are not true or incorrect about our loved ones. If communication with all faithfulness and honesty prevails, such a relationship can make every single day of people’s life breathtakingly beautiful!
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