Long Distance Relationship Advice

Advice by: Emily Downing
Place: Buffalo, New York, USA

I would like to share with the BlogJeez readers the Long Distance Relationship Advice I received from my counselor and mentor Emily Downing. My girlfriend Sharon and I were skeptical and kept pondering, “Do Long Distance Relationships really work?” before I had travel miles away to another city for my organization for 15 months. Just that you should know, it has been 7 months now and Sharon & I have had a beautiful relationship living miles apart…

Here below is the advice from Mrs. Downing that we have tried to incorporate in our long distance relationship and it works for us.

1. Define Your Relationship Status Clearly
Dating, Committed Boyfriend-Girlfriend, Committed Marriage, Seeing Each Other or Engaged… Whatever it might be! The couples that avoid such confrontation end up having a rocky time. For instance, a couple seeing each other needs to clearly decide if they are open or closed to dating someone else when living apart. If neither of them is clear about the feelings and expectations of the other, it is evident that there will be heartaches and wars!

2. Set Mutually Acceptable Relationship Rules & Standards
Setting some basic rules at the onset of an LDR is necessary because being human we are bound to take time to get used to drastic changes. Gradually, trust and understanding will build, but that requires the beginning to be solid. Simple things such as returning calls and messages, keeping your spouse (or boyfriend/girlfriend) informed about your social circle & whereabouts, taking each other’s advice before doing something drastically different and having consensus on issues that might possibly trigger an argument are all that need to have a common and acceptable understanding.

3. Have Strong Communication (Doesn’t mean repetitive or very frequent calls)
Schedule a time that is mutually comfortable for both of you to talk. Try getting online and use a webcam so that the conversation feels more personal. If you aren’t gonna be able to make it online, leave your partner a message. Keeping him/her waiting and not showing up implies you take your partner for granted. If you are the less busier person in the relationship, then ensure that you have a hobby or interest to keep you occupied.

4. Do Things Together From a Distance
Just the standard phone conversations and chatting on a messenger make life dull. Here are a few ideas for Long Distance Couples to do together when they are apart
a. Watch the same movie or YouTube videos and then discuss it
b. Listen to the same song in the background while chatting online
c. Gaze at the night sky at your end
d. Play a game over the internet
e. Decide a common menu for dinner
f. Have a common Twitter account private to both of you and tweet as your day passes

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By the way, I really recommend that you do go through the whole LDR Guide at least once... However, if you are too tired for now, watch the video below -- it will give you a gist! (If the video is not showing in your Internet Explorer Browser, please use Mozilla Firefox or Google Chrome and upgrade your flash player)

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Carla said...

Emily thank you so much... I had no clue where I should start and now I atleast have an approach to begin with! <3

Mosin said...

Thats a really funny video and both the actors are really cute too!!!!

Anonymous said...

I did make the mistake of not clearly defining the equation between my childhood friend and myself. He tends to get all possessive and drives me so mad! Argghh... And I can't even be rude to him!

Shibani said...

Communication!! I feel when communication breaks down, it all comes to an end. You have to make time to communicate!

optimia dev said...

Thanks for your great information, the contents are quiet interesting.I will be waiting for your next post.
questions for couples

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