Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts
Sister Act
Confession by: Jessica
Place: Auckland, New Zealand
I received an email from my swimming coach's sister that she knows about the two of us.
Lately at work I was tired of scanning my work emails in Outlook Express. I wanted to run through the pile of junk emails accumulated in my inbox. Surprisingly, I stumbled upon a name that suddenly struck a chord!
It was my coach's sister! She's been this cute kid I've never met. I've heard of her a lot and am fond of her. She is like this very practical, very outgoing & very broadminded girl! And yeah, she is growing up to be a doc! Wow..
Coach got speaking to her the other day and poured out our entire love affair to her. Matt, my coach is married but isn't doing great with his wife. He loves his 3 year old though. Anyway, he
had kept it secret from Gina, his sister, for 2 crazy long years living under the same roof. I can't believe siblings can actually keep things so secret especially if they are as close as Matt & Gina. But, Matt did keep things from her.
Gina feels guilty for what Matt & I have done. I am guilty too about it somewhere down there. I know if I hadn't come across Matt ever, he would have a happy family. Gina is taking full control of the situation and is making sure Matt's wife Shawna doesn't have her low patches.
I am impressed with Gina's ability sitting miles away and ensuring that Shawna doesn't go through a depression. She's got plans for Shawna when she comes down in December to spend time with their baby. Its amazing the way the two of them bond, though Matt and Shawna aren't together anymore. I am overwhelmed! But I am feeling really good that there is someone taking care of Shawna, she isn't alone really.
I really wanted to get in touch with the Gina, but not this way where I'd be a supposed vamp who broke her brother's marriage. I mean she'd eventually know that I ain't a vamp really. But I still continue to be fond of her. She's stepped in as a positive force in Shawna's life. All the best to her & a huge "Thank U" if she is reading this.
Its all so damn weird right now. Shawna is gonna be down here. Its like we would die to meet each other if things were good between us. Shawna was my dearest at high school. I honestly never knew that she was Matt's wife. But now its all so awkward.
She is hating it & feeling so uncomfortable getting onto that flight. I am sure she is dying to meet her baby irrespective of all this. I believe its best if we don't see each other... its only going to make her hate me. The whole effort of her coming out of the depression will go waste.
To Matt, "I am taking an off for a month. Have a great time with Ryan, Gina and Shawna. To Gina, "The 4 weeks that she is in Auckland, take care of her and party hard. Have a blast... Go spend on clothing & footwear! Keep me off her mind as much as you can!"
~Good luck Gina!
PS: Shawna, if you reading this, please forgive me...
Puppet
Confession by: Lucas
Place: New York City, USA
I think I am a puppet and my puppeteer is making me dance to the tunes of sorrow, test of strength and waves of lows.My 8-year old son Dwayne who used to live with my wife has now come back to me. His mom, my wife, passed away last month due to cancer. I have spent all my time getting Dwayne back to normal and often I barely live up to his expectations. He kept weeping all night last weekend thinking why he lost his mother and now has a dad who doesn't even come close to the standards set by his mom...
I am having a tough time bringing him back to reality and making him live life without tears in his eyes and sorrow in his heart. I keep failing each time and nothing seems to work at all... I feel distressed and pathetic counselling him. No faith, no practicality, no hope... Nothing seems to get my little kid off that void. I wish he comes out of it soon.
Well, while I live my life bringing Dwayne up, a girl pops up in my life and leads me to believe that she is madly in love with me. I know she is, or should I say she was. Kim has been in love with me for a long time now. I haven't been able to give her that space and love in return because I am not being able to build a relationship when I see my kid so troubled. I feel I have unfinished work before I give my love life a new lease.
Time has passed and Kim has come across a desperate human-animal waiting to have sex. He is attractive, a good talker and a wealthy lad. He happens to be her boss too at work in the fashion house. Kim keeps falling for him all the while these days and tells me she has been waiting long for me. But, understandably, I dont blame her for it because its me who didn't give her the comfort. But, why on f**ing earth is she after that sex monster... I mean I know her and she isn't someone who will f**k around with a rogue of his kind. Maybe, she is just frustrated and is paranoid about her age for marriage... She can't seem to wait for me any longer.
I first had to cope up with my wife's loss and then my kid's depression. I now have to cope up with the fact that my Kim can't wait for me. Its not so easy as you think that I should just go tell her what my problem is really.
I made a big blunder not having told her about Dwayne and my first wife. She is gonna hate me to the core and out of that shock will go have wild sex with her monster boss. Its come to a point now that I just have to leave her to go ahead with what she wants in life. If she waits for me, I think I will make her a happy girl. But I think its too late now and I've missed my bus. I just don't want her to end up with that monster because he totally isnt her kinda guy. She is just getting carried away with the wind and her paranoia.
I am being puppeteered by life with bringing Dwayne back to the chirpy kid that he was and on the other hand coping up with the fact that my new girl is lost even before she could be mine.I have spent sleepless nights and out of trying to be a strong guy, I have ended up throwing up in my bathroom. I can't work, I can't pay attention and I can't think much. After almost close to 40 days, I have bowed down in front of God asking him to show me direction. I don't see any.
I know I sound like a loser today. But someday I will write about life in detail. I am not the cause of this misfortune in my life. Nobody as such can be the reason for it. I think its just "life in general".
Dwayne & Kim, God Bless you!... Hopefully, me too in the process!
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Personal Secret by: Karishma
Place: Bangalore, India
Characters
1. Me, Karishma
2. My Ex-Boyfriend, Pranav
3. My Roomie, Tamara
4. Tamara's Boyfriend, Adnan
My ex felt like a loser after having dumped me and then being used & thrown away by my roommate. I felt terrible to see him in that state and had such a flow of emotions through my mind that day. I could hardly get sleep for the next couple of nights after that. Just the thought of what he must have gone through kept playing on my mind continuously.
I sound like an idiot, don't I? But, its hard to see that person in pain whom you've loved so dearly.
He now wanted to come back to me and wanted me to accept him again. I seriously didn't have the heart to go ahead and accept him again. I mean I could do everything to ensure he was okay, but to relate with him again in that manner was close to impossible.
But my dear ex then broke down before me and said how he was losing himself and going mad. He even considered suicide. I am a fool that I am and I gave into that. I melted! My ego told him that "I can't accept you", but the stupid heart inside me said, "Lets give it some time and see how it works out between us." It really gave him a ray of hope to know that I was at least considering him and we could possibly have a future together.
I don't know why I fall so easily into these stupid traps. I started to be all caring and loving one more time without using any specific words of love as such, but just through the way I behaved with him. He felt at ease to know that I was getting back.Life did have to turn ugly one more time. This time I thought he had returned to me finally. I had started making efforts to revive our love. But you are then wondering why am I writing all this about him if I have really started to love him again -- the reason is this:
Pranav: "I don't know if I still feel for Tamara. I feel really jealous when she speaks about her boyfriend. Her thoughts still keep coming to me and keep troubling me. I don't know if its you or its her!"
I let our conversation continue normally and I said good-bye to him for the day. After that, all I could just say was "f*ck off dude", but I said it silently to myself so that he wouldn't hear. I really don't think I am gonna let myself be treated like a tennis ball anymore... I am not his back-up plan or a second option. I really don't wanna melt yet another time again in front of his "distressed image". Dealing with such issues is what psychiatrists or rehabs do, not me for sure!
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