Showing posts with label cheating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cheating. Show all posts
Letter to my Girlfriend's Lover
Letters by: Monika
Place: Munich, Germany
My girlfriend Andrea moved to Paris for work. She found her new lover there, Karolin. Andrea felt pathetic all this while having cheated on me. Below are the letters I wrote to her new found love, Karolin and what Karolin replied to me.
From: Me, Monika
To: Karolin
Dear Karolin,Let me first say that I am here just to make things better for not just Andrea, but for you too. This mail is for you, not her. So if you wish to, you can keep it between us or share it with her if you wanna.
Karolin, for a moment I want you not to think that its the same Monika you know who is writing this email. Just think of me as any other friend of yours.
Lets try to rewind back for a moment and understand whats happened. You might think that "I have lived all this drama & this girl wants to rewind my life!" Well, still, lets just do it.
It probably was the Jan of 2009 when Andrea & you met at an alien place far away from home & your loved ones. You both probably also met at a time when you both were at an emotional low. At such a time, when you found the other person was such a beautiful human being more than anyone else, you could hardly resist, but get close to that person. You two found great company in each other.
You started to spend time together & loved the warmth that you shared. You could hardly even stay a single day without hearing each others voices or even seeing each other for at least once! Bring back all those memories...
Andrea tells me, "Monika, Paris was never so beautiful the way it has seemed to me in the past one month or so. Being with Karolin, I have started to get over all loneliness and I love the place. Her company is what makes me so happy here..." I could hardly believe for a moment that its the same girl saying all this who used to hate Paris a few months back.
Karolin, lets be honest to ourselves here and lets not confuse ourselves what has happened. For starts, it was an emotional attachment which later became an infatuation. Infatuations though don't last for so long. Infatuations don't make us cry, miss or hurt our hearts so badly. Infatuations don't make living life difficult without the other person. Once again, please lets be honest and accept that you both go beyond attachment & attraction...
So now whatever has happened in the past month, leave it aside. Don't break your head & heart over it. You have both messed up your peace of mind doing that and analyzing & fighting over all of it. I even know you are having a tough time with Marcel. (Marcel is Karolin's boyfriend. She was straight until she met Andrea.)
Karolin, you need to ask yourself if you have the heart that feels for her and wants her or it doesn't. In either cases, you gotta be strong. Accept her with love & not compulsion if you wish to, else let her be on her own and make or mess her life on her terms.
You know it Karolin, at the end of such an intense period of love, its hard to just call that person just "someone I know", hard to not look at that person with the same feelings, hard to not feel the person with your hands.
So my girl, decide what it is that you really want! If you don't want love, let her by herself even if she isn't okay today or even if you aren't okay today. I don't know much about how life is treating you, but I'm sure Andrea wont be able to come out of the grief and pain again. I've spoken to her these days, she is okay for a brief moment, but after sometime when I talk to her, she loses her mind and goes nuts again.
But if you wish to get together with her with all love & commitment, I am sure your lives will be beautiful again!
You girls don't need to worry about me if at all you ever think what I am feeling. I am not sad, I just feel bad to see you this way; love, still no love!
And sweetie, you surely can talk to me anytime you want to. Please don't feel uncomfortable about it. I don't have any hard feelings against you and I mean it. If you girls ever get together, I'll throw a party.
Write back to me sometime, if you wanna that is.
Take care girl,
Monika
PS: You are in Paris for the love of fashion, for your career. You have worked hard for it. So please don't compromise on it ever, else you will regret why you ever met Andrea.
From: Karolin
To: Me, Monika
Hey Monika,Well I understand what you are going through.You are perfectly okay in your position. The last one month was happiness without doubt. I was bereft because I was having a hard time with Marcel. Andrea supported me emotionally. And when a person cares for you so much, its natural you will give back love to that person. That's what has happened in the last few weeks. I really don't know why I went blank about Marcel. But I wonder why Andrea got carried away.
Its now that I have realized, what I want. I am pretty firm with my decision. I want to be "Single". I want no relationships. I can't handle them. I can understand Andrea's state of mind. Seems she is longing a lot for me.
She is psychologically affected and wastes her time thinking about it. Its hard ignoring her too. I want her to focus on her job.
Monika, only you can handle her state of mind. I still don't understand her. I wanna be a good friend of hers.
Its just that when you are not around she keeps thinking about herself and me. So if you can be in touch with her regularly for a few days at least that would be great. I am sure she will come out of this and focus on you, her future and job.
Love,
Karolin
Straying can be Good
Advice by: Norman Keith
Place: Pasadena, California
Unfaithfulness and multi-partner indulgences are looked down upon. There is nothing wrong looking down upon them, else relationships would never survive for long. But, in fact, straying really helps and somewhere deep down there, it strengthens the bond of emotion and love with your real partner. Let me explain that...
First Thing:
"Man has never been monogamous, man has always been polygamous!"
Well, this trait in human beings has been witnessed ever since we came into being. What it means is that, human beings have this physiological & psychological characteristic of not being satisfied with one.
Second Thing:
"Man being a social animal is stimulated by emotions of guilt, commitment, faithfulness and a whole bunch of other words which make him moral (supposedly)."
What this means is that even though being human makes us polygamous, we are quite often struck by the lightning of morality.
Having understood these facts, it is obvious that at some moment in life an individual is bound to stray away. The individual strays just for excitement or for no great quarrel between the couple as such. The individual finds this new fling lively, mouth-watering and irresistible. The affair continues for a while till the individual starts to show signs of change with his partner. The partner realizes things are fishy and soon sail the winds of insecurity and suspicion.
A day comes when the affair or a part of it comes to light and things do get pretty bad. The individual who strayed away realizes that he/she took a wrong turn in life and messed up big time. The individual finds how much harm he/she caused to the partner just for a moment of fling and risked a well nurtured relationship.
The realization makes the individual then make up for the shit that happened. He/she goes out of the way to care for the partner and shower extra love in place of the mess created. The partner, if loving enough, sees love returning back home and usually melts unless egos come in between.
Life once again becomes normal and relationships become stronger. The couple realizes what they probably could have lost for this moment of temporary excitement. In future, all fights and quarrels don't get this extreme because of the realization of the importance of the relationship. The couple once again falls madly in love and another honeymoon starts.
If probably the straying wouldn't have occurred, life wouldn't have wrecked as much. But then just because it wrecked, what was built later was way stronger and bolstered with greater understanding & love.
So just in case life takes you & your loved-one down this route ever, learn to be understanding, strong, forgiving and wise. Know what you have built through a long period and learn to value it like any businessman values his business. You would take ages to put in the same sort of investment with any other random person and you don't even know where you would get with that. So be calculated and if you've decided on giving up/compromising, be very sure what you are losing and if you think its worth it. Being forgiving on one side and being really loving on the other side can make the two see a beautiful life in a completely different light. I'd say give it another chance...
OTHER POPULAR READS
1. A Lesson for Women & Another for Both Sexes
2. 4 Easy Steps to Get Over A Break Up
3. Just One Solution to Insecurity
4. At which Stage is Your Relationship?
RECOMMENDED FOR WOMEN
1. The Girlfriend That Every Man Wants
2. 9 Most Desirable Traits In A Woman That Men Want
3. What Men Find Attractive In A Woman's Body
4. Top 10 Things Every Man Wants In A Relationship
RECOMMENDED FOR MEN
1. What Women Want in A Man's Looks
2. Attract Women With Your Body Language
3. How to Talk to Any Girl Anywhere
4. Make Any Girl Fall in Love With You
"Man has never been monogamous, man has always been polygamous!"
Well, this trait in human beings has been witnessed ever since we came into being. What it means is that, human beings have this physiological & psychological characteristic of not being satisfied with one.
Second Thing:
"Man being a social animal is stimulated by emotions of guilt, commitment, faithfulness and a whole bunch of other words which make him moral (supposedly)."
What this means is that even though being human makes us polygamous, we are quite often struck by the lightning of morality.
Having understood these facts, it is obvious that at some moment in life an individual is bound to stray away. The individual strays just for excitement or for no great quarrel between the couple as such. The individual finds this new fling lively, mouth-watering and irresistible. The affair continues for a while till the individual starts to show signs of change with his partner. The partner realizes things are fishy and soon sail the winds of insecurity and suspicion.
A day comes when the affair or a part of it comes to light and things do get pretty bad. The individual who strayed away realizes that he/she took a wrong turn in life and messed up big time. The individual finds how much harm he/she caused to the partner just for a moment of fling and risked a well nurtured relationship.
The realization makes the individual then make up for the shit that happened. He/she goes out of the way to care for the partner and shower extra love in place of the mess created. The partner, if loving enough, sees love returning back home and usually melts unless egos come in between.
Life once again becomes normal and relationships become stronger. The couple realizes what they probably could have lost for this moment of temporary excitement. In future, all fights and quarrels don't get this extreme because of the realization of the importance of the relationship. The couple once again falls madly in love and another honeymoon starts.
If probably the straying wouldn't have occurred, life wouldn't have wrecked as much. But then just because it wrecked, what was built later was way stronger and bolstered with greater understanding & love.
So just in case life takes you & your loved-one down this route ever, learn to be understanding, strong, forgiving and wise. Know what you have built through a long period and learn to value it like any businessman values his business. You would take ages to put in the same sort of investment with any other random person and you don't even know where you would get with that. So be calculated and if you've decided on giving up/compromising, be very sure what you are losing and if you think its worth it. Being forgiving on one side and being really loving on the other side can make the two see a beautiful life in a completely different light. I'd say give it another chance...
OTHER POPULAR READS
1. A Lesson for Women & Another for Both Sexes
2. 4 Easy Steps to Get Over A Break Up
3. Just One Solution to Insecurity
4. At which Stage is Your Relationship?
RECOMMENDED FOR WOMEN
1. The Girlfriend That Every Man Wants
2. 9 Most Desirable Traits In A Woman That Men Want
3. What Men Find Attractive In A Woman's Body
4. Top 10 Things Every Man Wants In A Relationship
RECOMMENDED FOR MEN
1. What Women Want in A Man's Looks
2. Attract Women With Your Body Language
3. How to Talk to Any Girl Anywhere
4. Make Any Girl Fall in Love With You
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