Showing posts with label love triangle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love triangle. Show all posts
Letter to my Girlfriend's Lover
Letters by: Monika
Place: Munich, Germany
My girlfriend Andrea moved to Paris for work. She found her new lover there, Karolin. Andrea felt pathetic all this while having cheated on me. Below are the letters I wrote to her new found love, Karolin and what Karolin replied to me.
From: Me, Monika
To: Karolin
Dear Karolin,Let me first say that I am here just to make things better for not just Andrea, but for you too. This mail is for you, not her. So if you wish to, you can keep it between us or share it with her if you wanna.
Karolin, for a moment I want you not to think that its the same Monika you know who is writing this email. Just think of me as any other friend of yours.
Lets try to rewind back for a moment and understand whats happened. You might think that "I have lived all this drama & this girl wants to rewind my life!" Well, still, lets just do it.
It probably was the Jan of 2009 when Andrea & you met at an alien place far away from home & your loved ones. You both probably also met at a time when you both were at an emotional low. At such a time, when you found the other person was such a beautiful human being more than anyone else, you could hardly resist, but get close to that person. You two found great company in each other.
You started to spend time together & loved the warmth that you shared. You could hardly even stay a single day without hearing each others voices or even seeing each other for at least once! Bring back all those memories...
Andrea tells me, "Monika, Paris was never so beautiful the way it has seemed to me in the past one month or so. Being with Karolin, I have started to get over all loneliness and I love the place. Her company is what makes me so happy here..." I could hardly believe for a moment that its the same girl saying all this who used to hate Paris a few months back.
Karolin, lets be honest to ourselves here and lets not confuse ourselves what has happened. For starts, it was an emotional attachment which later became an infatuation. Infatuations though don't last for so long. Infatuations don't make us cry, miss or hurt our hearts so badly. Infatuations don't make living life difficult without the other person. Once again, please lets be honest and accept that you both go beyond attachment & attraction...
So now whatever has happened in the past month, leave it aside. Don't break your head & heart over it. You have both messed up your peace of mind doing that and analyzing & fighting over all of it. I even know you are having a tough time with Marcel. (Marcel is Karolin's boyfriend. She was straight until she met Andrea.)
Karolin, you need to ask yourself if you have the heart that feels for her and wants her or it doesn't. In either cases, you gotta be strong. Accept her with love & not compulsion if you wish to, else let her be on her own and make or mess her life on her terms.
You know it Karolin, at the end of such an intense period of love, its hard to just call that person just "someone I know", hard to not look at that person with the same feelings, hard to not feel the person with your hands.
So my girl, decide what it is that you really want! If you don't want love, let her by herself even if she isn't okay today or even if you aren't okay today. I don't know much about how life is treating you, but I'm sure Andrea wont be able to come out of the grief and pain again. I've spoken to her these days, she is okay for a brief moment, but after sometime when I talk to her, she loses her mind and goes nuts again.
But if you wish to get together with her with all love & commitment, I am sure your lives will be beautiful again!
You girls don't need to worry about me if at all you ever think what I am feeling. I am not sad, I just feel bad to see you this way; love, still no love!
And sweetie, you surely can talk to me anytime you want to. Please don't feel uncomfortable about it. I don't have any hard feelings against you and I mean it. If you girls ever get together, I'll throw a party.
Write back to me sometime, if you wanna that is.
Take care girl,
Monika
PS: You are in Paris for the love of fashion, for your career. You have worked hard for it. So please don't compromise on it ever, else you will regret why you ever met Andrea.
From: Karolin
To: Me, Monika
Hey Monika,Well I understand what you are going through.You are perfectly okay in your position. The last one month was happiness without doubt. I was bereft because I was having a hard time with Marcel. Andrea supported me emotionally. And when a person cares for you so much, its natural you will give back love to that person. That's what has happened in the last few weeks. I really don't know why I went blank about Marcel. But I wonder why Andrea got carried away.
Its now that I have realized, what I want. I am pretty firm with my decision. I want to be "Single". I want no relationships. I can't handle them. I can understand Andrea's state of mind. Seems she is longing a lot for me.
She is psychologically affected and wastes her time thinking about it. Its hard ignoring her too. I want her to focus on her job.
Monika, only you can handle her state of mind. I still don't understand her. I wanna be a good friend of hers.
Its just that when you are not around she keeps thinking about herself and me. So if you can be in touch with her regularly for a few days at least that would be great. I am sure she will come out of this and focus on you, her future and job.
Love,
Karolin
Just One Solution to Insecurity
Advice by: Michelle
Place: Little Rock, Arkansas, USA
Lets start with one thing: Human Beings are a species which is polygamous. I have said this before. We all have to accept this fact because it changes the perspective in which you look at your relationship.
The kind of environments which we live in today makes it so easy for us to stray. At the same time, technology has spread its wings so far that spying is way easier than straying quietly. But does it mean that we set traps or set alarms to ring when we suspect things going out of control?
Experiences & studies say that relationships which tread the path of suspicion eventually lead to an outburst of internally accumulated feelings. The accumulation of feelings is unhealthy physiologically and the outburst usually leads to violent responses.
Now before we understand what is the reason that leads to a person a straying, lets think about what makes two people connect. I would say its physical attraction, stimulating conversations, common interests, emotional entanglements, association for long periods and some more to add to the usual list that we all know commonly.
Really speaking, when we connect, its not that "love" showers upon us. We chemically respond to the flow of substances in our body. The society we live in further binds on us the necessity of commitment. So under the effect of the substances and social binding, we end up living together for a rather long time with our partners.
Having understood this, its rather easy to understand that the way A & B click is nothing supernatural. They aren't struck by a comet really. Similarly, A could click with C and B could click with D. That's what eventually leads to straying. Depending on how strong your relationship is with your partner, you either sway this way or that way. Now its not really a "sin", its merely the internal make-up of human beings that makes us behave in that manner.
Now just the one solution to this: "Communication!" Thats the magic word. If you feel things are going wrong, responses from your partner are unusual, the love seems reduced or even the smallest of things is turning into a quarrel, you have to make the bold step. You have to for a moment control your temper, let your ego down and keep cool. Communicate to your partner that the way things are going is messing up the entire build-up of a long time. Its investment from both sides thats going down the drain. Ask them what is it that they feel is missing or is it just that they slipped. Don't for a moment show that you are "pissed off" about it. It'll only cause your loved-one to conceal things from you. Talk about it and make it feel comfortable. Be like a parent dealing with a kid, but don't cause them to feel they have wronged. From there, you need to rebuild and every couple will have their own way of doing it.
If you are on the other end in this case, that means if you are the one who strayed, then just give it a thought-- "Is it really worth it?" Well, you must have had quarrels with your partner and maybe the sex isn't rocking enough, but have you explicitly communicated and made efforts to rebuild the pyramid? And if you think that everything is perfect, but you still strayed then forget about it. In either cases, just get back to the realization that while you traveled the journey, you came across another path. You walked on it and realized that it wouldn't take you all the way... Just turn back and get back where you were supposed to and carry on from there. Once you are back, its best to keep things to yourself. You don't necessarily need to share it with your partner. Just give them at extra love and they'll be surprised why you being so different, but they'll love it!
Speak, Communicate, Don't react & Accept!
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